How Soon Is Too Soon?

Just when you thought you’d never have to think about the whole dating scene again, it makes a surprise return, sometimes, following the loss of a spouse.

Everyone adapts to loss differently and has different approaches to how they want to spend their lives in their new situation.  Some people are quick to return to the dating life while others are more content to see where their own life leads them and aren’t in a rush to find a new partner.

Whether and when to date are certainly difficult questions and can be filled with anxiety and guilt, not to mention worry about how others may perceive you.

Comedian Patton Oswalt was faced with this dilemma when he remarried within a year of his first wife’s sudden death. He received a lot of negative feedback on his decision to remarry so quickly, but as this article from the Globe and Mail points out, it is possible to love more than one person at a time and grief and mourning often overlap with newer phases of your life.

For another take on dating after loss here’s 5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Are Ready To Date from the Hungover Widow. A key point to ask yourself is, have you processed your loss enough so that you will be able to accept a new person in your life?

The Option B website is a wealth of resources for all kinds of topics related to resilience after loss.  One article on the site,  Someone Is Always Going to Have An Opinion  relates to the whole issue of knowing when you are ready to date and ignoring the people who may not agree with your decisions. In the end, it is really about your life and how you see the years ahead of you.

What has your experience been?  Has it been easy to restart the dating life or are you on the fence?  We’d love to hear from you – just enter your thoughts in the comment box below.